Owning your feelings takes commitment and humility. Owning your own feelings is critical to making your marriage a good one. This can be difficult but when done correctly it is actually very liberating. Frequently we can feel that someone else is responsible for how we feel. This belief leads to a loss of personal control and power and leads us to further believing that we are not responsible for our own behaviours. This belief results in a loss of love that would otherwise potentially come your way.

Taking responsibility

For any effective mental health and therapeutic work to succeed taking personal responsibility is necessary but not necessarily very comfortable. Taking responsibility for our feelings, attitudes, and behaviours is key to our spiritual and mental health. Just to be clear, there is no forward motion, no true results, no real healing that comes into our lives without taking personal responsibility.

I wish to further qualify this by saying that there are many individuals who over-blame themselves for everything while others choose to blame everybody else for everything and then again there is a minority that choose to “own their stuff” by taking responsibility for those things that they are personally responsible for. I know this seems like tough medicine, and it sure is, but this is the pathway to personal power and freedom and the possible eventuality of having a good marriage.

Responsibility is ownership

To take responsibility is to be mature, humble and a person who desires truth. To take personal responsibility is to be willing to see your behaviour and attitudes and recognize that they are yours and nobody else’s. It’s my responsibility how I act. The comedian, the late Flip Wilson, popularized the saying, “The devil made me do it!” In that joke we can find what is called a psychological projection, this is where someone else is to blame for ones impulses or qualities that are undesirable or harmful.

Ask yourself, who is it that is experiencing the feeling? I am! Am I responsible for what I am feeling or not? If not, then it wouldn’t matter how I act out then, would it? That is what we would like to believe. When we feel emotionally injured we need to take responsibility for it immediately. Now, I am not inferring that you shouldn’t be feeling the pain or that the reason you are feeling the pain is your fault rather I am saying, what you do with what you are feeling is where personal responsibility comes into play. Think about it this way, I am feeling the feelings the other person is not making me feel though they could be perpetrating it. Sometimes the line of responsibility can seem blurred especially when we are in great emotional pain, but if we can more objectively ask ourselves some questions and observe we can probably come to some better conclusions.

Victim or Victor?

To some degree we all have had a victim mentality at some point in time, while there are those of us who still carry that around in our injured soul. Staying stuck in this can have us believing such negative beliefs as, “I always get the short end of the stick.” “I am always in trouble or to blame.” “Bad things always come my way.” “I always get stuck with …” “My spouse is always hurting me.” “There is no point in trying.” “If I don’t do it nobody else will.” “I’m the one that has to carry the load around here.” These and other such statements indicate a victim mentality which keeps us stuck in a belief of powerlessness and in the emotion of self-pity.

Using self-pity or the victim mentality creates for us a sub-standard quality of life. If you are stuck in a victim mentality or self-pity don’t deny it or blame and shame yourself simply recognize it, own it and realize that you need some good qualified help. We all need help from time to time in our lives because some tasks, including our own soul, needs help from qualified others to get unstuck, healed, and move forward.

Staying stuck is a choice. We can choose freedom but you should know that this will take effort on your part. Approximately 3,300 years ago we see ancient Israel in slavery under Pharaoh where the people wanted to be free from the oppression of slavery but when they became liberated they then had to think, live and believe differently. This involved making difficult choices and doing difficult tasks and having hurdles to overcome. Even though Moses did much of the intervention with God’s help there was still a lot of struggle and a lot of work for the newly liberated nation. Having freedom takes bravery and determination working with someone qualified that can help you to finally experience the freedom that all people are supposed enjoy.

Why does my partner drive me crazy?

Marriage is the one relationship that can be the most rewarding, the most intimate of any other relationship but it is also the most emotional relationship you will ever have. If you are reading this you probably have experienced what it is like for your partner to “push the buttons”. This experience is the result of two people who usually are acting out of hurt feelings and therefore one or the other party is punishing their partner in return by their own reactional behaviour.

Sometimes you may experience your partner pushing your buttons and in turn you are being triggered emotionally, but they may not be doing it intentionally rather your negative experience is the result of some pain or painful events in the past that have not been processed by your brain as yet.

Think about a drinking glass. You and I are like that drinking glass and what is in that glass are all of our life’s experiences from the past and if filled with negative things then when current negative things happen our glass gets too full or starts to spill over resulting in feelings like you are going crazy from the emotional pain. If you don’t take ownership of this then the result will be a sense of powerlessness, a victim mentality, and self-sabotage of your most intimate relationship.

Conclusion

“Owning my own feelings” means that you refuse to be a victim anymore, you choose to get the help you need to begin your healing process and begin to communicate with your partner in a more meaningful and healing like manner resulting in a better marriage relationship which will bring you closer and closer to the loving relationship you have wanted.

Be sure to read this entire series (click on words below):

Part 1: Commitment

Part 2: Humility

Disclaimer:  This article is not meant to diagnose, treat nor is it any kind of conclusive evidence, this article is simply the opinion of the author.  This article is meant for personal reflection and inspiration only.

Sources:

Psychological Projection:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=exodus+1&version=KJV

Another reason people “fall out of love” is because of their attachment style.  This is not the same as personality type or style but rather the healthy versus the unhealthy.  There is a new resurgence with new and updated research on “attachment”, but the main emphasis today is on attachment style in adulthood and how it impacts the relationships we have.

Simple definition of attachment in psychology

A simple definition of attachment can be defined as the manner and depth of emotional bond that a person can create or have with another individual.  The depth of attachment is dependent on the ability for a person to pursue closeness and the level in which a person feels secure when in the presence of the person to which they are forming a bond.  The theory of Attachment explains how a parent-child relationship is formed and influenced resulting in a particular attachment style in future relationships.

In a secure attachment style, healthiest one, a deep and enduring emotional bond is formed between two people in which each seeks closeness and feels more secure when in the presence of the attachment figure.

Why is this important to me?

The reason this is important because it reveals our level of emotional stability and resilience when it comes to having a healthy enduring relationship.  Our bonding ability is closely tied to how our primary care givers ability to be emotionally present with us in childhood as well as the kind of emotional support that we received.  The quality of our childhood and our parental emotional presence has significantly impacted our lives especially when it comes to close and intimate relationships.  We all want stability, dependability, and predictability in our relationships, but are we our own worst enemy?

The need for stability and predictability

Stability and predictability in a relationship is dependent on a few key factors:  the quality of attachment that was formed in our childhood, the quality of our moral values, and understanding the true nature and qualities of love itself.  Without these three we will probably not have long lasting secure relationships that are supportive and stable.  

Taking responsibility 

Be aware that we all need to own our choices, emotions, and style of bonding we have.  It’s not about blame rather about accepting our own flawed style of attachment.  All too often people will go from one extreme to another, from blaming their spouse, to blaming their parents or teacher, or blaming themselves.  Taking ownership is not about blame rather about personal recognition that we are the ones who are acting out and feeling what we are feeling.  It is essential though emotionally painful to come to the place of recognizing that we have faults that we didn’t recognize and failed to see about ourselves.  How easy it is to blame others around us rather than to take responsibility for our own feelings, thoughts and outward behaviours.  If we choose the path of humility then we will want to better ourselves rather than focusing on everyone else’s behaviour towards us.  Painful as it is it is rewarding to be free from the pain of our past, to give up all hope for a better past, to no longer feel the victim, or feel that you are treated unfairly.  Freedom from these tormenting emotions are the reward.

Remember owning your own emotions is critical to the path of peace.  If we choose this road less travelled we will experience the pain of guilt and/or shame.  The good news is that we needed to see this about ourselves so that we can do something about it.  Trying to fix your partner is is a futile endeavour.  Each person in the relationship needs to take responsibility for themselves and remember don’t police your partner.

You can have long lasting love

A person with a secure attachment style is a person who will stay in love and experience long lasting love especially when they have married to a person who also has a secure attachment style.  You may be asking about now, “Who then has this secure attachment style?”  We either develop a secure attachment style in childhood because our parents were able to provide that for us or we can develop a secure attachment style through counselling and therapeutic help.

Staying in love rather than falling out of love has a lot to do with attachment, the quality of our moral values, and understanding the true nature and qualities of love which feeds the feelings of love for your spouse.

Sources:

1.  McLeod, S. A. (2017, Febuary 05). Attachment theory. Simply Psychology. https://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment.htm

2.  Vinney, Cynthia. “Adult Attachment Styles: Definitions and Impact on Relationships.” ThoughtCo, Aug. 28, 2020, thoughtco.com/adult-attachment-styles-4774974.

To get the most out of therapy takes a few steps of preparation.  Since you are probably paying for your therapy or counselling sessions it would be prudent to come prepared to listen, participate, and to talk.

It’s important to understand that your therapist is not a magician or miracle worker though they are skilled individuals that have been trained to help connect with, be compassionate, be a good listener and facilitator in helping you with your problems.

Finding the right therapist for you can take some investigation as well as spending some of your money.  Though I am a therapist myself, I too have pursued therapy and though I am trained in this field I understand that after I have done my due diligence to search out the type of therapist I would like to see that I may end up not resonating with the therapist, this happens and that’s okay.  Be sure though to look at yourself especially if you have seen numerous therapists and have only stayed with them for a short period of time.  If possible before you book your first appointment try to find out what is the therapist’s style, what is the process that the therapist wants to take you through, be open-minded, investigate, and ask questions.  Remember nobody is perfect and no therapist can read your mind.  If your personalities don’t connect well then it may be best to pursue another therapist.

• Know that you need help, don’t come because you want to fix someone else.
• Take some notes, at least some mental notes, of what you want to discuss with your therapist from the onset of the session.
• If you have had other therapy/counselling sessions be sure that you have followed through and completed or practiced your given assignments.
• Be aware that getting upset with your progress may not be your therapist’s issue it could be your own anxiety issues projecting onto your therapist, therefore be ready to own your own stuff and take personal responsibility for your progress.  If you need to let your therapist know about your frustrations concerning your progress let them know kindly and clearly.
• Therapy is a journey more than a process or an assembly line of treatment.  Going faster sometimes means moving slower.  Relax knowing that this time is for you.

To have successful therapy it is important to note that not every session will be revolutionary or life changing but rather your consistent participation in the process will build a therapeutic momentum transpiring in overall healing and even exceptional healing moments.

Once you leave a session notice what happened, what you said, what the therapist said, what you learned, how you felt, what you need to discuss further and possibly even give your therapist some feedback to gain further clarification, especially if you didn’t like something that transpired during the session.

Your social circle determines your quality of emotional health

I had a client tell me, “I don’t understand why I keep picking the wrong person?”  I asked them where they were going to find a potential mate and they told me it was at a bar.  My reply was, “If you want to catch salmon you have to go to particular places of fishing where they live and move.  If you keep catching carp that is because you keep going back to that kind of habitat where carp live and breed.”  Social circles are important, if you want to be inspired, challenged to change then upgrade your social circle.  

Your choice of teachers determines your quality of feelings 

Who teaches us is important because we learn only to the level of our teacher.  In the Bible Jesus said, “The student is not above their teacher.”  We need teacher, mentors, mothers/fathers to help us become the best we can be including how to better emotionally regulate.  Who do you look up to the most?  If it’s yourself than that is a big part of your problem.  All too many people believe that once they grow up they have arrived.  Where did we learn that from?  We learned that from our family and our friends.  One of the most stunting things we can do is for us to qualify ourselves as the mentor of our own lives.  I hard one person say they learned all their stuff from the internet and watching documentaries, that might be okay to some degree but I have seen too many people who have become mislead or confused by this method of self-mentorship.  Being fearful and ignorant leads us to the place where we become our own coach, mentor, and teacher, by doing so we will forever be learning but never really changing in an objective way.

I heard a well known financial teacher once say, “I surround myself with people that are smarter than I am so that I can succeed.”  I have also heard it said, “I am not my own accountant because I will lie to myself.”  Having a quality mentor or mental health professional and life coach will keep us honest about ourselves whether or not we can see it or like it.  Feelings change when we change.

• EMDR
• EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUES
• HOMEOPATHY
• LIFE COACHING
• PYSCHOSOMATIC ENERGETICS
• FRASER’S DISSOCIATIVE TABLE TECHNIQUE
• PSYCHODYNAMIC THERAPY

Changing how you feel is important because that is how you are energized, motivated, and the quality of life you live in.  Start taking some good healthy steps today.  Book your appointment today and get started on your healing journey!

There are those times in life where we try to change but we are unsuccessful in doing so.  Why can I not change how I feel on my own?  The answer oversimplified is because we need other people to help us.  

Learned Feelings From Childhood

We learned our emotions from our mother on a physiological level from our mothers in utero.  Through the umbilical cord the child learns emotions through the nervous system and hormonal system.  What the mother thinks and feels and experiences is transmitted to the infant through the nervous system and through the blood flow that carries hormones from mother to the child through the attachment of the umbilical cord.  This is how we all first learned to experience emotions, through our physical connection with our mother.

Learned emotions from mom

We also learned emotions and feelings from how our mother looked at us and spoke to us.  Did our mother look into our eyes and gaze at us with emotional connection of love and adoration or was our mother distant in her mind, what she watching television, or in today’s world on the cell phone or computer instead of making that eye connection to help create a secure emotional bonding.  Through this quality of experience we begin to either feel emotionally safe or emotionally unsafe. 

Learned emotions from your home environment

We learn emotions from our home dynamics how people spoke to each other and acted towards each other.  Was the home environment physically affectionate and loving?  Was the home environment full of conflict and possibly violent?  Was our home ambivalent and emotionally detached and indifferent?  We can have a mixture of these types of environments also.  The environment we grew up in is how we learned to feel and how we learned to emotionally regulate and attach to other people around us.

Emotional connection, emotional upheavals, emotional issues all stem from childhood because of the emotional skills our parents handed down to us through their emotions intelligence.  Blaming is not the answer anymore than denial is but recognizing and understanding where things came from and then pursuing healthy emotional changes takes courage and commitment.  With therapies like EMDR, Homeopathy and others we can overcome our insufficiencies and weakness and gain the emotional balance we need.  Call today! 

>> EMDR Therapy

>> Homeopathy 

At New Hope Counselling Centre we can help you to obtain a better tomorrow.  Call us today!

Serving Burlington, Hamilton, Oakville, Milton, Mississauga, St. Catharines and surrounding areas.

Changing your feelings are a very real possibility but it does take three things to change your feelings, 1. Educating yourself about feelings, cognition, adverse life experiences, and obtaining tools you need to move forward.  2. Change in your habits.  3.  Professional counselling, coaching, and just some honest to goodness therapy.

1. Become informed

Educating yourself to better understand yourself is primary because not knowing why you feel the way you feel and what to do about it can be a frightening thing.  Knowledge is powerful because it can help disarm the fear of the unknown and help you to do something about what you are feeling.  You can educate yourself through reading some good materials that you can get from the library, online, bookstores, courses, or even through a professional therapist.

2. Form new habits

To feel better we have to change our habits.  It is quite obvious that we have physical habits like brushing your teeth, eating habits, even bad habits like negative talk.  Habits are formed from observation, inundation, and self-discipline.  In order for new habits to form we need to first be in the know as mentioned above, educate yourself.  New habits can only be formed when we can recognize that the habits we now have are harmful and detracting from our life.  From there we need someone other than ourselves to show us how and what we should stop doing and start doing.  For example almost anyone can swing a golf club, but if you don’t have proper form than you will never become a good golfer.  Practicing the wrong thing even though you might think it is the right thing still produces frustration.  A professional coach will demonstrate and instruct the right way of golfing but will also observe how you stand, your physical posture, position of hands and feet, the way you swing, and so much more.  So it is in real life we all need someone who can observe us in a critical way that is helpful.  Yes, critical.  There is so much today on “No Judgement”, that we have lost context of that meaning.  Judgement can be both good and bad.  Bad judgement is when a person is put down or damned to a place of impossibility where insults reside, but good judgement is where compassion and truth can preside which corrects a person’s habits and behaviours so that the person can excel in life and in this case our feelings.

Habits are both external and internal, actually all external habits are a result of internal habits of thoughts and feelings.  Some things we can outright stop while other things we need to start doing a new thing in order to stop doing an old things.  For example try and count from 1 to 100 in your mind while verbally out loud say the alphabet, the result will be that you will stop counting because you have verbally engaged in saying something different than what you are thinking.  Yes you change what you are feeling by changing your focus, your imaginations, thoughts, and what you are saying.  Often this takes help from others as well as some self-disciplines put into place.

3. Professional counselling

Professional and qualified assistance and help is important to our wellbeing.  As mentioned earlier to be a better golfer you need a coach who can help you to achieve that.  Why do we have someone else cut and style our hair?  Usually it is because they can see better how to cut and treat our hair.  Why do we hire professional services such as mechanics, plumbers, electricians, physical trainers, dieticians, physicians, s, etc.?  We do so because each person has been divinely gifted and professional trained and educated to perform their “art” to better our lives in some manner.  Why would we not get the help we need for our emotional and mental wellbeing?  After all isn’t the proverb true that says, “As a person thinks in their heart so is he/she?”  Our quality of life come first and foremost from within what we experience externally in adulthood is often the result of core beliefs and a challenging EQ (Emotional Quotient).  A mental health therapist, , psychiatrist, psychotherapist, counsellor, and Social Worker are qualified to aid people in this area of mental and emotional health.

At New Hope Counselling Centre we can help you to form new habits, overcome old ones, and change your overall mood.  We can help.  Call us today!

Serving Burlington, Hamilton, Oakville, Milton, Mississauga, St. Catharines and surrounding areas.

Robert Plutchik theory. 22 October 2017. Wiki Media Commons.

Basic emotions

There are numerous theories as to how many basic emotions we have such as: theory by Paul Ekman, The James-Lange Theory of Emotion, The Cannon-Bard Theory of Emotion, Schachter-Singer Theory, Richard Lazarus’ Cognitive Appraisal Theory, and others.

Basic emotions are the building blocks of more complex experience of emotions.  It is very difficult to define definitively the ‘gospel truth’ of emotions but we can identify them in a manner that can help us to better understand what it is that we are feeling and also what healthy emotions can possibly look like.

We can look at emotions in opposites, much like an antonym in vocabulary, or as in a colour wheel, or even in temperature such as hot and cold.  We often refer to these opposites as positive and negative emotions.  A friend and colleague of mine, Katie O’Shea renamed these as Connective and Life Enhancing Emotions and Protective and Life Preserving Emotions.  

Protective Emotions

Shame and Guilt

Shame and guilt though similar are different but can fit into the same category.  This emotion brings to our attention when we have or others have done something harmful.  This emotion can work for us even before we have done something we should not have done, it can show us ahead of time that by doing a certain behaviour we can bring harm to someone either emotionally or physically.  Often this emotion is referred to as a part of our conscience.  This emotion brings to our attention behavioural changes we need to make.  When we are skewed in our emotions that is when we need help.  Guilt and shame when felt too much we feel as though we were bad versus our behaviour was bad.  Some of what we feel with this emotion includes morals which sits in spirituality or religious beliefs.

Self-Pity

When we didn’t do anything wrong but something harmful has happened to us we need to feel sorry for ourselves.  As the saying goes, lick your own wounds, we may need to do so in order to pay attention to how we have been hurt and what we need to pay attention to so that we can tend to ourselves and receive the healing, rest and emotional nourishment that we need.  Where self-pity is unhealthy is when a person gets stuck in this feeling and continues to play the victim.  Don’t pay attention to those who may say, “Don’t feel sorry for yourself”, as this may prolong your wound.  Paying healthy attention to a physical wound is important so physical infection does not settle in so it is with emotional wounds.  If you push emotions away they will stay and not heal.  Pay attention to those emotions and care for yourself giving yourself what is healthy and needful.

Disgust

Understanding disgust is when we are repulsed where we react to eliminating something from us that is toxic, poisonous or dangerous.  Disgust can be experienced when we taste something that is experienced as repulsive and we spit it out and withdraw from that thing.  We can experience this when someone does something that is morally depraved or what we call “sick” or a food that is rotten, or a puss that might be oozing out.  Disgust is experienced when we quickly feel the need to remove ourselves from that experience or behaviour.  We need to pay attention to this feeling as it tells us when we need to remove ourselves from that situation or people otherwise we will become like them in some manner.

Fear

Fear lets us know when we are in danger.  Not all fear is a correct assessment of the situation but healthy fear we can see in the example when a person is standing on the edge of a building 10 stories up and they know that to take a step off of the building that they will fall and die.  Healthy fear also understands that jumping in front of a moving train will kill them.  Unhealthy fear is when we experience some form of this emotion when there is no danger present.  Fear gives us the energy to respond to a danger that is present whether emotional or physical, usually this response is a flight response.

Anger

Anger gives us the energy to fight when faced with a danger whether emotional or physical.  Again, this emotional response may not be correct due to incorrect perceptions of the brain.  On the scale of 0-10 when we experience a 5 or more we reject the person rather than the deed and when it is under a 5 we reject the deed rather than the person.  Anger has different intensities from annoyance to wrathful hatred.  Anger can be expressed through bodily expressions, facial, tone of voice, volume of voice as well as words chosen to be expressed.  Anger has been referred to as a secondary emotion because it is an emotions that fights to regain power, for example I am angry because I was afraid, much like a fearful dog cornered becomes vicious.  

Sadness and Grief

Sadness and grief show us that we have lost something or someone that is valuable to us.  The more important that person or thing was to us the more intense the sadness.  Healthy sadness and grief come when we embrace the feelings versus try and push them away.  We need to reflect on the wound of loss once embraced we should be able experience gratitude because we are noticing the good that we once had either in a relationship or a thing such as a job.  Sadness can also show us that we need to love and appreciate the relationships we make and have as well as respecting things that we have.  Complicated grief arises when childhood attachments and connections were not of good quality.  

Negative emotions or feelings can be helpful when we need to protect our life from danger but when they are working at the wrong time then our life can become troublesome.  When we ask, “Why am I feeling this way?”  “Can I ever feel different?”  “Is there any hope of me feeling better?”  The answer is yes.  There is no magic wand or special pill but there are clinical and therapeutic ways that can help us regain our life.  Check out some of the therapies below that can help you.

>> EMDR Therapy

>> Homeopathy 

At New Hope Counselling Centre we can help you to improve your emotional state, marriage, healthy living, bringing you hope for a better tomorrow.  Call us today!

Serving Burlington, Hamilton, Oakville, Milton, Mississauga, St. Catharines and surrounding areas.

Are emotions and feelings the same?

There are many words to describe how we feel but feelings are not the same as emotions.  Feelings can be described as emotions plus cognitions which equals feelings.  Emotions are core Nervous system and Limbic system responses that are physically felt.  The more we can become attuned to our body the more we can experience and be connected to our emotions for the purpose of healing and living life to the fullest.  

SUDS scale helps us to identify the intensity of what we are feeling

Although there are basic emotions that can be identified but further to that emotions can be understood in their intensity through the use of  adjectives that gives us the clues as to its intensity and quality.  To further and better quantify our emotions it is best to use what is called the SUDS scale or the Subjective Units of Disturbance Scale.  Through the use of this scale we can better subjectively and experientially determine what our emotional experience is like.  The scale starts at 0, which means totally calm and peaceful but yet fully aware sliding all the way up to 10 which represents the most intense of emotions.

What are the basic emotions?

There are many prevailing theories and observations, but I will share my thoughts concerning this subject as a clinician in my next post, Understanding Basic Emotions.

Gradients of emotions

When we experience emotions we do not experience only one at a time.  According to the senior researcher Dacher Keltner and faculty director of the Greater Good Science Center he states that through their research that there are 27 dimensions of distinct emotional experiences found when a study of 800 men were you used as they watched over 2,000 video clips that were developed by researchers.  In other words we experience emotional states that are quite colourful and complex rather than experiencing emotions one at a time as in isolation.  We experience emotions in different intensities and in different combinations.

Emotions are powerful!  They are a part of our vital force our soul but when they are in disarray then we can experience many unpleasant things like depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, and anger management issues.  To better understand yourself and develop emotional self-regulation such therapies listed below will help us with just that:

>> EMDR Therapy

>> Homeopathy 

At New Hope Counselling Centre we can help you to improve your mood and emotions as well as the quality of your relationships.  We offer you hope for a better tomorrow.  Call us today!

Serving Burlington, Hamilton, Oakville, Milton, Mississauga, St. Catharines and surrounding areas.

Are you looking for alternative approaches to resolving or enhancing your mental health?  More and more people are seeking a more holistic and natural approach to mental health.  According to the Fraser Institute in 2016 they stated that 79% of Canadians have used at least one alternative therapy sometime in their lives.

Many issues can be addressed to some degree using talk therapy styles (counselling) to remedy emotional and relational struggles, but all too often talk is not enough.  Through a couple of decades of practice the best clinical results occur when both talk type of therapy and (CAM) Complimentary and Alternative Medicine approaches are utilized.  A combination of numerous approaches proves to show the best results in helping to resolve mental health issues.

Clinical experience for us has shown that the best approach to resolving relationship issues, adult attachment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, PTSD, grief, and many other issues is to approach therapy and counselling from a two-pronged approach.  Using EMDR and Homeopathy.

EMDR Approach

EMDR (Eye Movement and Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that stimulates the two hemispheres of the brain which facilitates and accelerates the relearning of emotionally adverse and traumatic events. This bilateral stimulation of the brain done through an 8 phase process resolves the majority of a person’s issues given within the adverse life event(s).  It is said to be an AIP model, Accelerated Information Processing.  This moves past traditional talk therapy because of its speed in brain processing.  This may not be right for everyone but once a person is prepared it is marvellous in its lasting results.

SPECT imaging and fMRI results of EMDR have been documented to show the radical and effective changes it does to the brain and ultimately the person’s life.

Homeopathic Approach

From a natural holistic, CAM, approach emotions and feelings can be both regulated as well as processed to bring healing and resolution.  Within nature there are powerful means by which we can help shift mood, balance hormones, and shift the electrical aspects of the brain and nervous system.

Through clinical practice it has been evidenced that those that have utilized both EMDR and a naturopathic approach to treatment have successfully resolved their issues.  Some of these issues are both physiological and in nature such as:  anxiety, IBD issues, PTSD, depression and anger, liver and bile flow issues, lung and fear issues, ADHD and brain and nervous system function, and much more.

Other effective therapies provided

• Emotional Freedom Techniques 
• Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
• Psychosomatic Energetics
• Psycho Dynamic 
• And much more

The CAM or holistic natural approach to resolving relational, mental, and emotional issues proves to be very effective in healing and bringing resolution to the spirit, mind, body, and relationships.

Issues addressed

Resolving your mental health issues is a must because it will not only hinder your quality of life ly and emotionally but also it will eventually impair your physical health. Some medical doctors have stated that unresolved emotional issues are at the root of 70-95% of all chronic illnesses and degenerative diseases.   These unresolved emotional issues and mental illnesses often have their root cause in such abuses and traumas as: 

• sexual assault and abuse
• physical assault 
• verbal and emotional abuse
• monetary abuse
• neglect in childhood
• medical or dental trauma

We offer individual therapy and counselling to people in person as well as though distance counselling.  We are here for the Oakville, Ontario community for in person, face to face counselling or through distance counselling methods using Skype or FaceTime.  We have aided many from Oakville, Ontario with lasting results.  

Our physical office is but a short drive from Oakville to our office in Burlington you will find it worth the drive. If you only interested in relief to help you feel better we can do that for you.  If you desire to dig deeper and resolve your issues from the roots on up we can do that for you as well.  Call today or book online which ever is the most convenient for you.