The Heart Math Institute out of California has developed a scientifically sound method of calming your nervous system through what is called heart focused breathing.  Heart focused breathing involves the focus of the mind while breathing, more specifically it involves heart focus and heart breathing.

Your heart obviously is not doing the breathing your lungs are but the mental focus is on your heart, let me explain a little more.  This psychophysiological coherence is about creating a rhythmic coherence between the heart and the brain which allows many wonderful outcomes such as a sense of wellness, calmness, better connection to other people, better problem solving abilities, and physiologically speaking it helps to lower blood pressure and reduce physical stress.

1. Heart Focus – this involves bringing your attention to the area of your heart, about the middle of your chest.  Begin breathing a little deeper and smoothly where you breathe only through your nostrils for a 5 second count inhaling and 5 second count exhaling.  If it helps you to focus better place your hand over your heart as you breathe.
2. Heart Breathing – this part involves your imagination where you imagine yourself breathing through your heart.  Imagine yourself breathing slowly and rhythmically breathing in through your heart and out through your heart.

We understand that when we practice something we get better at it.  If we consistently go to the gym we gain momentum and our strength and fitness increases.  By practicing Heart Coherence breathing at least twice a day for a minimum of at least 5 minutes per session you will begin to see over time that your ability to manage emotions will improve giving you greater resilience.  Plus, by doing this breathing you will help your body to be healthier.

The Heart Math Institute (heartmath.org) has done numerous studies that shows that the heart itself emits an electromagnetic field around it that can extend to approximately 6 feet out from a person.  This electromagnetic field tells us a few things, but in particular that it helps us to stay physically and mentally healthy if we keep it strong.

The only two organs in the body that have the greatest nervous system connection is the brain and the heart.  The heart also contains brain cells and synapsis, this tells us that the heart indeed holds memory.  Therefore, the following phrases actually contain truth because our heart can have clear communication with our brain being in sync (coherence), and our heart and brain can have chaotic communication as well.  Here are some of these sayings:

• I have a broken heart
• From the bottom of my heart
• Have a heart
• To have a heart of gold
• To lose heart
• To have a heavy heart
• Light hearted
• To wear your heart on your sleeves 

Heart-focused breathing isn’t time consuming nor laborious rather it is refreshing, it helps reset your mind and mood besides adding other benefits besides.  Begin and end your day with heart coherence breathing.  

HeartMath has various tools and devices to help you these you can purchase through New Hope Counselling Centre.  These tools are beneficial as they give you guidance, give you feedback, give you resources, record keeping, and as I say keeps you honest.  This is an essential tool for mental health.

Defining Grief

Grief is defined by Merriam-Webster “as deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement”.  Some other words that that correlate with grief are affliction, anguish, heartache, sorrow, woe, and heartbreak.

Grief is the highest intensity of the basic emotion of sadness.  Everyone experiences grief as some point in their lives and numerously, but some are more resilient than others while others are stuck in grief and their very ability to live in happiness and joy seems to be an impossibility.  This type of grief is known as complicated grief, which has its root cause in childhood where there lacked secure attachment, household and life stability.  There is hope of recovery but it does take a concerted effort of consistent therapy on ones part.

When we lose someone dear to us then we will often experience grief.  Some unhealthy things people do would be:

• Ignore your feelings and thoughts.
• Thoughts only of hopeless loss.
• Spending too much time alone.
• Spending too much time keeping busy.
• Talking too little or too much about the loss.
• Have not time to grieve and reflect in a healthy manner.

How each individual handles grief can be quite different, even how each culture grieves the loss of a loved one can be quite different.  One thing for sure is that doing nothing is not the answer.  Getting healthy support from family, friends, socially, and therapeutically is essential to your quality of life.  If you push down your feelings they will stay if you courageously face your feelings and give yourself the nurture you need then you will be able to heal, move forward and have a bright future.

Symptoms of Grief

Your grief symptoms may present themselves physically, socially, or spiritually. Some of the most common symptoms of grief are presented below:

• Crying
• Headaches
• Difficulty Sleeping
• Questioning the Purpose of Life
• Questioning Your Spiritual Beliefs (e.g., your belief in God)
• Feelings of Detachment
• Isolation from Friends and Family
• Abnormal Behaviour
• Worry
• Anxiety
• Frustration
• Guilt
• Fatigue
• Anger
• Loss of Appetite
• Aches and Pains
• Stress

You may or may not experience all of the things in the list above but the knowledge of this can help normalize your experience, it is perfectly normal to experience some of these things.

Stages of Grief

We go through stages of grief and sadness and these stages of grief are as follows:

Denial – which protects us from overwhelming emotions and should not be confused with a lack of caring.

Anger – arises in grief where you can feel angry at professionals, yourself, the deceased and even God.

Bargaining – thinking about what could have and should have been done differently.

Depression – You may experience deep grief where you feel like you can’t move on.  Be sure to receive appropriate support and know that you can and will heal.

Acceptance – This is when you come to the place in your heart and mind that your loved one is gone from this earth.  This does not mean that you are alright with the reality they are gone but rather you have come to accept this.  This often comes in increments, be patient with yourself and again continue receiving the healthy support that you need.

Tips for healing when you lose a loved one:

• Embrace and accept your sorrow (grief) instead of ignoring it.
• Look to family and friends for support (avoid too much alone time)
• Seek the support and counselling of a counsellor or pastor.
• Engage in spiritual practices like reading the Psalms in the Bible, pray and meditate in a healthy way, expressing your heart and receiving the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  Attend a Bible believing church regularly.
• Be a part of a support group where you can share your story and receive support.
• Journal your feelings and thoughts.
• Allow yourself to not only feel your emotions but acknowledge them.  If you push them away they stay if you allow yourself to feel them and acknowledge them then you can begin to heal.

Be patient with yourself.  Know when you need to get professional help.  Leaving things too long will create further health and social issues in your life.  Start living and get the help you need today!

Debilitating sadness and grief can lead to health concerns, broken relationships, anger issues, anxiety issues and even panic attacks.  Getting the help you need today means that tomorrow you will live again.  The first step is to reach out and get the help and support you need.  Sometimes the help you receive from your loved ones is enough but when that isn’t enough then get the professional help you need.

At New Hope Counselling Centre happiness, healthy living, and hope is what we can help you with.  We are here for you!  Call us today!

Serving Burlington, Hamilton, Oakville, Milton, Mississauga, St. Catharines and surrounding areas.