Moving Beyond Depression

Introduction

Do you feel blue this time of year?  Christmas time and through the winter season in the Northern Hemisphere tends to be when we have the least amount of good sunlight, we eat lots of sugar, drink alcohol, eat processed foods, stress over numerous things.  All of these things gives us a recipe for depression.  You may be asking is there a solution?  Yes! Not only is there a solution but also a natural one as well, and the good news it works!  Here is what you need to do.

Considerations

First let’s consider what are some of the causes of depression.  I listed above some of the factors that can contribute to depression but do not necessarily lead to depression they simply tip the bucket over so to speak.  Some of the causes of depression can involve family heritage issues such as ancestors with darker pigmented skin need more sunlight therefore a lack of it can trigger depression because of a lack of vitamin D.  Other family heritage issues can include dispositions to weaker functioning liver, nervous system, digestive system, and possibly kidneys.

Other issues can include past trauma, lack of emotional and physical support growing up where there may have not been parents that were emotionally supportive or present for you, this can even go back as far as infancy or even in utero!

Depression is defined by WordNet as sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy. Very simplistic but it gets the point across. I would simply put it, pervasive and persistent ongoing sad feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, along with gloom and inadequacy.

Depression in simplest terms is when anxiety, fears, phobias have been piling up and not resolved, where a person has repressed their emotions, and for a prolonged period of time they have not been able to move forward then hopelessness can take hold, which then forms depression.  There are numerous forms of depression but all in all this would in a general way sum it up.

Symptoms of Depression – Quiz

Using a scale from 0-5 (zero not at all to 5 the most intense) rate how you fair

1. My future looks hopeless
2. It’s difficult for me to focus on things.
3. Pleasure and joy have gone out of my life.
4. Things that used to be important to me I have lost interest in.
5. I feel blue, sad, or unhappy.
6. I feel like a failure or worthless.
7. I feel like I’m more dead than alive.
8. I think a lot about death and dying.
9. I do things slowly.
10. I have difficulty in making decisions.
11. I’m agitated and have to keep moving around.
12. I feel like have no energy, I feel fatigued.
13. I feel I deserve to be punished.
14. I’m getting too much or not enough restful sleep.
15. I feel trapped.
16. Without trying to diet I lose weight.
17. Even when good things happen to me I feel depressed.

If 8 or more of the questions you answered were a 3 or higher than more than likely you have some form of depression.  Good news there is a cure!  Here is a list of things you can do to increase your ability to recover and begin enjoying life again.

Things to do to help alleviate depression:

1. See a qualified therapist for fast track recovery, especially one that has training in both psychology and natural remedies.
2. Avoid eating sugar, especially processed and artificial sweeteners.
3. Eat more living foods such as vegetables and fruits. Be sure half of your plate is living food and the other half protein based food.
4. Supplement with a high quality Omega 3 EFA.
5. Take high quality vitamin D supplement.
6. Daily take a high quality human microflora probiotic for best results.
7. Eat naturally fermented foods such as sauerkraut and kimchi, kombucha (a fermented drink), as well as fiber-rich prebiotic foods like jicama (Mexican yam).
8. Sleep in a room where there is white-noise, total black out in the room, turn off all electronic devices including wifi.
9. Use a qualified LED light source that is therapeutically to reduce depression in winter months known as the SAD Effect, for about 20 minutes a day during winter months.
10. Get fresh air for at least 20 minutes daily.
11. Move your body for at least 30 minutes a day (better known as exercise).
12. Involved yourself with family and friends that give good healthy positive support at least once daily for a few minutes.
13. Meditate and pray daily on things that offer hope, such as scripture.
14. Use personal type therapies such as EFT, here is a link for a demonstration:  https://www.youtube.com/v/VrY-HI0Nt_Y%26hl=nl%26fs=1%26rel=0%26hd=1%26autoplay=1
15. Laugh daily even if it’s fake!

Conclusion

In conclusion depression has always existed but in modern times it has escalated due to our industrial and technological comforts and the time we use to strive for them.  A total person, natural approach will give lasting results versus just possible temporary relief.  Reach out for help that is your first step to getting better.  I understand that when you are depressed you don’t feel like reaching out but the question is do you want to feel better?  Do you want to have a life and one abundantly?  If not, then consider those you love and do it for them!

For more information check out my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/newhopecounsellingcentr/ .  I also offer a free 15 minute telephone consultation if you would like one just call (905) 633-7410.

Introduction

Do you feel blue this time of year?  Christmas time and through the winter season in the Northern Hemisphere tends to be when we have the least amount of good sunlight, we eat lots of sugar, drink alcohol, eat processed foods, stress over numerous things.  All of these things gives us a recipe for depression.  You may be asking is there a solution?  Yes! Not only is there a solution but also a natural one as well, and the good news it works!  Here is what you need to do.

Considerations

First let’s consider what are some of the causes of depression.  I listed above some of the factors that can contribute to depression but do not necessarily lead to depression they simply tip the bucket over so to speak.  Some of the causes of depression can involve family heritage issues such as ancestors with darker pigmented skin need more sunlight therefore a lack of it can trigger depression because of a lack of vitamin D.  Other family heritage issues can include dispositions to weaker functioning liver, nervous system, digestive system, and possibly kidneys.

Other issues can include past trauma, lack of emotional and physical support growing up where there may have not been parents that were emotionally supportive or present for you, this can even go back as far as infancy or even in utero!

Depression is defined by WordNet as sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy. Very simplistic but it gets the point across. I would simply put it, pervasive and persistent ongoing sad feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, along with gloom and inadequacy.

Depression in simplest terms is when anxiety, fears, phobias have been piling up and not resolved, where a person has repressed their emotions, and for a prolonged period of time they have not been able to move forward then hopelessness can take hold, which then forms depression.  There are numerous forms of depression but all in all this would in a general way sum it up.

Symptoms of Depression – Quiz

Using a scale from 0-5 (zero not at all to 5 the most intense) rate how you fair

1. My future looks hopeless
2. It’s difficult for me to focus on things.
3. Pleasure and joy have gone out of my life.
4. Things that used to be important to me I have lost interest in.
5. I feel blue, sad, or unhappy.
6. I feel like a failure or worthless.
7. I feel like I’m more dead than alive.
8. I think a lot about death and dying.
9. I do things slowly.
10. I have difficulty in making decisions.
11. I’m agitated and have to keep moving around.
12. I feel like have no energy, I feel fatigued.
13. I feel I deserve to be punished.
14. I’m getting too much or not enough restful sleep.
15. I feel trapped.
16. Without trying to diet I lose weight.
17. Even when good things happen to me I feel depressed.

If 8 or more of the questions you answered were a 3 or higher than more than likely you have some form of depression.  Good news there is a cure!  Here is a list of things you can do to increase your ability to recover and begin enjoying life again.

Things to do to help alleviate depression:

1. See a qualified therapist for fast track recovery, especially one that has training in both psychology and natural remedies.
2. Avoid eating sugar, especially processed and artificial sweeteners.
3. Eat more living foods such as vegetables and fruits. Be sure half of your plate is living food and the other half protein based food.
4. Supplement with a high quality Omega 3 EFA.
5. Take high quality vitamin D supplement.
6. Daily take a high quality human microflora probiotic for best results.
7. Eat naturally fermented foods such as sauerkraut and kimchi, kombucha (a fermented drink), as well as fiber-rich prebiotic foods like jicama (Mexican yam).
8. Sleep in a room where there is white-noise, total black out in the room, turn off all electronic devices including wifi.
9. Use a qualified LED light source that is therapeutically to reduce depression in winter months known as the SAD Effect, for about 20 minutes a day during winter months.
10. Get fresh air for at least 20 minutes daily.
11. Move your body for at least 30 minutes a day (better known as exercise).
12. Involved yourself with family and friends that give good healthy positive support at least once daily for a few minutes.
13. Meditate and pray daily on things that offer hope, such as scripture.
14. Use personal type therapies such as EFT, here is a link for a demonstration:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrY-HI0Nt_
15. Laugh daily even if it’s fake!

Conclusion

In conclusion depression has always existed but in modern times it has escalated due to our industrial and technological comforts and the time we use to strive for them.  A total person, natural approach will give lasting results versus just possible temporary relief.  Reach out for help that is your first step to getting better.  I understand that when you are depressed you don’t feel like reaching out but the question is do you want to feel better?  Do you want to have a life and one abundantly?  If not, then consider those you love and do it for them!

For more information check out my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/newhopecounsellingcentr/ .  I also offer a free 15 minute telephone consultation if you would like one just call (905) 633-7410.

In the dead of winter about 10 years ago I went through a number of emotionally trying situations all taking place within a relatively short period of time.  My wife tried unsuccessfully to console me.  It was a difficult time.  We just had a number of things happen in our church that were emotionally painful.  Even though logically I could analyze what had happened yet emotions tend to override all logic.  These incidents resulted in about two months of illness including high fever, swollen tonsils, sinusitis, and abdominal issues culminating into Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

The spirit, mind, body connection is so evident to me as I live my life but it was not so evident back in those days.  When we face emotional stress such as dealing with a difficult person, being fired, losing a job, or an environment of constant conflict this eventually results in different forms of illnesses.  Some of these illnesses are acute and some are chronic, possibly not showing up until months or years later.

Is there a solution?  Is there hope?  Absolutely yes!  I remember one time talking with my holistic health care provider and asking him if there was hope for me.  He smiled reassuringly and told me that I was going to be healthy and not to concern myself over it.  There is hope for you!

Immune System

The immune system is quite complex and to fully explain it here would be impossible.  However, I will attempt to give you some key components so that you can understand some of its basics.

The immune system works from the bone marrow all the way to the outer layer of the skin.  Even though the following organs and tissues have other purposes, yet the immune system is supported and operates from these:

Thymus

The Thymus is located under the breastbone and is at its peak during adolescence.

Bone Marrow

Produces lymphocytes—T-cells and B-cells and sends them through the lymphatic system to secondary organs.

Lymphatic System

The lymphatic system runs throughout the entire body and consists of nodes.  Many of these are in the chest, neck and head.  They are connected to our organs, in particular the spleen, tonsils and thymus.

Intestines

Here is where many white blood cells reside and are tagged for “specific service”.  When our intestines do not function well our immune system loses its potency. Intestines are particularly vulnerable to disturbing emotions.

Spleen

The spleen is found in the left upper quadrant of our abdomen. Its function primarily is to remove old red blood cells and to hold a reserve of blood in case of hemorrhagic shock. The spleen also synthesizes antibodies and removes certain kinds of bacteria through blood and lymph node circulation.

Tonsils

We have two tonsils, one located on each side of the back of the throat.  Tonsils are part of the Lymphatic system and are said to tag white blood cells for certain tasks.  Tonsils are the first line of defence.

Liver

The liver is located mostly on the right side of the body and primarily sits under the ribs though it does extrudes beyond that.  The liver a multi-functioned organ which directly and indirectly effects our immune system.  The liver is a mediator of systemic and local innate immune regulation.

Appendix

What was once considered a useless appendage in our body now is showing its value in helping to maintain a healthy immune system.  Some new research indicates that the appendix harbors and protects bacteria (probiotics) that are beneficial in the function of the colon.

Emotional Stress and Illness

Unfortunately mainline medicine (allopathy) treats primarily the symptoms that arise in our bodies.  But, there are many physicians who are now asserting that between 80-95% of all ailments reported by patients are the result of unresolved emotional issues, grudges, and emotional stressors.  Natural health care practitioners are trained to treat the cause rather than the symptom.

In an earlier blog I wrote about how the spirit affects the mind and body, the mind effects the spirit and the body.  In the end the body is affected and will eventually “kick back”!  According to biblical teaching all physical illness is the result of spiritual ailment(s).  When we are spiritually, mentally, emotionally ill we eventually become physically ill.  In acute cases we may suddenly get a virus, or some infection due to an emotional shock or overload of some kind.  In chronic disease cases this is due to long held unresolved emotional issues.

In the beginning of this article I wanted to point out that emotional stress could cause sickness in our body because our emotions either support healthy immune function or they shut it down.  If we are in a constant state of hyper vigilance (fight or flight) we will unconsciously be constantly suppressing our immune functions and after awhile this will develop into serious illness(es).

Wisdom Factors

I could give you a list of things to do, but there are hundreds of such lists on the Internet and in books.  Instead I have a few thoughts to share with you.

It is also important to consider other things such as environmental stressors on our immune system of which we need to be aware so that we can support our body’s health.  Such things as wearing suitable clothing when it’s too hot or too cold, drinking clean water, eating properly, exercising, taking proper supplements, etc.

A big mistake I used to make was that I could figure it all out myself, or I could do it all myself and save the money!  But, I have discovered that being your own mentor, coach, therapist, physician, or spiritual leader is a disaster in the making!  By relying on other qualified people’s help I have saved money, aggravation, time and as a result have gotten light years ahead in self-improvement and empowerment.  Investing in yourself should be top priority.  Besides, if you won’t nobody will do it for you!  Remember, “Love your neighbour as yourself.”  Loving and supporting yourself will put you in a healthier position to love others more appropriately.

For a quick questionnaire online to help determine your level of emotional stress go to:  http://www.carolespiersgroup.co.uk/questionnaire.html

For consultation or therapeutic help you can contact me at (905) 633-7410.

Written by James Miklos, MCC, R.P.

Resources:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/fish-oil-supplements/faq-20058143

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2002/11/30/depression-part-nine.aspx

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19499625

Most of us at some point in our lives will feel stuck.  We can feel stuck in our careers, stuck in personal development, stuck spiritually, stuck mentally and emotionally, and even stuck in our physical health.

First, let me say that there are no magic pills, words or the like that can fix everything in our life once and for all.  Life is a journey, it is a walk and our involvement in our wellbeing is essential.  All too often people look to the one thing that will fix their life.  Rather, it’s about balance.  Just as we have daily habits through which we move through so it must be to modify or even create new ones.  If we are to feel healthy and live a fulfilling life we need to understand the habits that create and make our world.  Habits start in the mind.

What are you thinking?  I don’t mean just on the surface but what inner phrases, images, etc. do you repeat on a regular basis from awake to sleep?  It takes time to retrain your mind, but it must be done and there are many tools available to do so.  There are naturopathic means, meditations, prayers, spiritual worship, community, supportive friends and loved ones, therapists, devices, and so goes the list.

Let’s take a look at some healthy healing, rejuvenating habits that we should have in our lives.

1. Deep Breathing
2. Drink Water
3. Regular Routine
4. Regular Movement
5. Oxygen
6. Hydrotherapy
7. Positive Self-Talk
8. Healthy Social Support
9. Life Coaching

Deep Breathing

On a daily basis not only should we do deep breathing hundreds of times a day but we should establish a qualified breathing exercise.  I use and advocate heart coherence breathing by HeartMath.

Drink Water

There are many debates as to how much water a person should drink daily, some suggest 2-3 Litres of water.  But, there must be other considerations like:

• only drink water when you are thirsty
• must be clean water like spring water, Reverse Osmosis water that has been remineralized
• drinking herbal teas can be good but not to be your major source
• avoid soft drinks, bottled juices (unless organic), artificial drinks of any kind

Regular Routine

For mental and emotional wellbeing a regular routine is essential or imbalance will occur.

We need routine in:

• Eating 3 regularly scheduled meals and taking time for about 1 hour per meal.
• Going to bed before midnight, preferably around 10 pm range and to have approximately 8 hours of sleep per night
• Sleep in pitch black rooms and with no radiation

Regular Movement

• Daily movement/exercise will lower anxiety and depression
• 30 minutes daily for at least 5 days a week where you can talk but not sing
• Increase Endorphin levels in the brain and body

Oxygen

• For proper function of brain and mood
• To be outside in the open air, fresh air for 30 minutes daily

Hydrotherapy

For proper elimination and function we need to daily do some kind of hydrotherapy

• Shower
• Steam inhalation
• Bath
• Steam room

Positive Self-Talk

Being very negative will disrupt healthy brain function creating toxic hormones and other chemicals within the brain and body while lowering healthy hormones and chemicals.

• Think and speak positive self statements
• Willfully choose to be grateful and to express gratitude
• Forgive those that have offended you
• Choose healthy meditations on a regular basis

Healthy Social Support

We as humans are social beings, we were never created to be living in isolation.  For some there is great difficulty socializing and connecting with other people, while for others it comes with great ease.  The most important point to make is that we need good, healthy social support.  Support that looks like:

• having a spouse/partner to confide in
• having family to speak with
• having close friends or co-workers to confide in
• involvement in a worship community, community organizations, and support groups
• to be a person who makes friends easily

Life Coaching

The basic philosophy behind life coaching is that we have a vast array of energy, knowledge, ability and genius that is waiting to be set in motion. It has been said, “without personal mentoring it would have taken me 50 years to get to where I am today”.

Life coaching is about moving your life forward in a positive powerful and swift way, achieving your unrealized potential.

We need personalized support where a qualified person(s) is able to speak into our life, even if it involves correction.

Conclusion

Getting unstuck and moving forward in every area of life is what we need.  We only have one life to live so why waist it trying to figure everything out on our own.  Invest the time and the money – you’re worth it!

For your complimentary 15 minute consultation call (905) 633-7410.

Addictions are created when a desired feeling and behaviour become fixated together. For example, if the feeling of being a winner has become fixated with the behavior of gambling, the person gambles in order to feel like a winner. Even when he loses, the fixation between the feeling of winning and the behavior of gambling will persist. Bad outcomes such as losing a lot of money will not alter this fixation as it defies all rational learning.

An addiction can be created from a single event. For example, one person’s gambling compulsion began after he won a large amount of money playing poker. From that point on, the feeling of being a winner was fixated with the behavior of playing high stakes poker. The fixation was so powerful that even when he later lost more money than he won, the feeling of being a winner continued to be linked with the behavior of high stakes poker. The result was a gambling compulsion that eventually cost him his house, his wife, his life savings, and his job.

Another person’s gambling problem began after he played poker with his father and his poker buddies. for the first time in his life, he felt connected with his father. For this person, the behavior of gambling was fixated with the feeling of connection with his father.

This means that any behavior can become fixated with any desired feeling. Gambling might become fixated with the feelings of winning, connection, status, power, or any other feeling that a person might want intensely.

The reverse is also true: A feeling can be linked with many different behaviors. For example, the feeling of winning might become linked with the behaviors of gambling, shopping, shoplifting, smoking, drinking, or sex.

In diagram form:

Intense Desired Feeling + Positive Event = Addictive Fixation

An addiction can be triggered by either an internal or external event. For example, the sight of a poker table or the need to belong could be a trigger for an addictive behavior. In diagram form:

Addictive Fixation + Trigger Event = Addictive Behavior

So according to the Feeling-State Theory of Addictions, that is how addictions are created. The next question is how can you get your freedom back?

Read How FSAP works.

Without this crucial factor a marriage will never work. You can be committed to the relationship but without equality there will be no bliss in the relationship.  Marriage relationships can be born but they have to be worked on regularly and professionally.

Equality isn’t just ‘human rights’, it’s for insuring passionate enduring love in your marriage.  Let’s start by talking about what equality should look like in marriage.  Equality needs to be objectively understood.  Many times it takes a qualified person to help you to understand what it should look like in your relationship.  For now let’s just say it primarily involves justice.  This takes a couple sitting down and discussing as two mature adults what their beliefs are, their likes and dislikes and what they are willing to do or not to do.  These desires and requests should be respectfully considered by each party and discussed again until mutual understanding and willingness is reached. Call us today, you’re worth it!

Equality in love has to do with needs being met, support being equivalent, and respect of each other being primary.  Equality needs to be understood as full disclosure and mature discussion along with resolution of issues and of the person themselves.  There should be no skeletons in the closet!

Equality never holds the belief ‘I am just as good as you are’ rather the belief that ‘I will honour you and defer to you putting you above myself’.  It goes without saying that this should be reciprocal.  Sometimes it will take a qualified outsider to help sort things out.  There is a scripture that I believe says it best, Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor…[1].  Equality in marriage isn’t necessarily that each partner needs to do the same thing as the other but rather equally carry the load of responsibility.

Let’s look at personal responsibility in light of equality.  Each person in the relationship needs to take equal responsibility for the function or dysfunction of their relationship whether or not they feel responsible.  In my years of counselling I have observed that where a marriage is in trouble the fault seems to lie somewhere in the middle.  In other words, marital difficulty tends to be 50/50…sometimes it has other proportions, one being more guilty of sabotaging the marriage than the other, but it is never 100% one person’s fault.  It’s vitally important in order for a marriage to work that each individual stop blaming the other for how they feel.   This is very difficult because we usually feel hurt and other various feelings as a result of what another person has said or done to us.  However, it is important to realize you have a choice how you think and perceive situations.  My pain is my pain.  Yes, it may have come from a hurt, a lack of meeting expectations, or a betrayal but you still have choices.  When I feel the pain it’s not my partner who is making me feel this way, rather it’s me feeling the pain, therefore it is my pain.  That is becauseI am experiencing the pain.  All too often I see the blame game going on about past pains that have occurred, and all too often the pain is also associated with some childhood abandonment issue, abuse, neglect, etc.  There is no denying that you are feeling pain but in order to heal each and everyone of us needs to take responsibility for our feelings, which is a sign of emotional maturity.  Don’t blame – regain your life by accepting the pain as yours and get help to move forward.  This in turn will liberate and empower your life. Call us today, you’re worth it!

Where there is equality there is responsibility, and where there is responsibility there is humility, and where there is humility there is true love.

References

[1] New American Standard Bible Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, Calif.

Throughout my many years as a counsellor,  therapist and as an ordained minister I have performed marriages for couples and I have counseled still many more.  I have seen many of the same challenges for couples repeatedly.

The institution of marriage has been around as long as the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve have been.

In the beginning… there was marriage.  What is marriage versus simply living together?  Marriage and cohabitation aren’t the same, even by definition.  Cohabiting with someone does not involve commitment, loyalty, and faithfulness for life.  Animals cohabit for the sake of reproduction and rearing of a family.

Marriage isn’t marriage unless the following happens:  there is a presiding legal authority (preferably one also of spiritual authority), at least two witnesses, an exchange of words consisting of promises in front of those mentioned and….once that is complete, then the presiding authority legalizes the marriage.  The final step is where sexual intercourse takes place between the wedded couple.  There is now a covenant bond between the two.

Covenant is more of an ancient term, which is stronger in its implications than a contract between two parties.  The word covenant, at its root, means ‘to cut’.  This signifies that blood is involved.  To understand more about covenants it would be advisable to read some of Dr. Livingston’s stories of his missionary travels in Africa.[1]

Unfortunately, in western civilization, marriages (and in particular happy marriages) are becoming less and less popular.   When children are raised in a secure home where both parents love each other and are evenly tempered we see happy and secure children and a happy and secure marriage.  At the writing of this article I am celebrating with my wife our 28^th wedding anniversary.  I am glad to be married and am glad to be married to the woman I love and who is my best friend.

John Gottman, Ph.D. has said that he can usually tell within a few minutes of seeing a couple if they are going to stay together or not, based on how they fight.[2]  All couples fight.  Yes, there are disputes and disagreements, but it is how you fight that makes all the difference.  This is dependent on each person’s emotional maturity or EQ (Emotional Quotient).  Call us today, you’re worth it!

Steps to emotional maturity as a couple requires each person to begin taking steps toward getting qualified help to increase their EQ or emotional maturity.  Without having both persons involvement usually means a failure of the relationship.  In our society that has a lack of proper boundaries almost everything is ok to believe or to do.  The motto of the day is ‘if it feels good do it!’.  As a result of this prevailing thought, couples need to be better equipped through education and counselling to help make their marriage an oasis in a troubled world.  Marriage should be a taste of heaven on earth.

First, you should realize that you are an equal partner of the marriage and therefore have equal responsibilities.  Second, fighting is okay when you do it properly. Third, understand what love is.  Fourth, understand and meet your spouse’s needs.  Fifth, consider what bad habits you have that are counteracting all the loving efforts you are doing, then work on ridding yourself of them.  Sixth, get your priorities right.  Seventh, be sure to get regular qualified help through counseling, workshops, etc.  Eighth, agree on the 5 basic essentials of life, and Ninth, get your spiritual life in order.

The difficulty that every couple will face at some point in their marriage will require professional qualified help.  Your next step will take some humility and courage, but I urge you to contact us so that we can help you to thrive!  We offer non-judgmental, private and confidential counselling and psychotherapy. Call us today, you’re worth it!

References:

[1] Trumbull, Henry Clay.  The Blood Covenant; A Primitive Rite and Its Bearing on Scripture (original 1885),(Paperback – Oct 2010)

[2] Gottman Ph.D., John.  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert  (Paperback – May 16 2000).

How do I know that what I am feeling as an individual is fact or fiction? This is a question where many who come to me struggle with and is for the most part a universal dilemma. The feelings are real, but why I am experiencing them may not be.

Perception is purely a subjective experience. Our personal perceptions all began in its foundational elements going back to our parents own perception of their environment.  Two months prior to the mother’s ovulation, which is when the DNA selective encoding began to formulate, gets sequenced to allow for adaptation of the environment which is dominantly decided by the mother’s perception of how she is at that time experiencing life. Wow! That’s a topic to talk about. From their we learned from our mother in utero and when we came into this world we began learning how to interpret how we feel from our environment.

Why we feel the way we do is based on our own perceptions and without some clear truthful external indicators of our own life’s experiences we are at the whim of our feelings, left to our own perception. Bottom line we need a truthful sounding board, a flexible mind along with divine guidance to be able to see things more clearly.

What I feel is mine – not anybody else’s! “He/she made me feel…” often is a projection rather we should look first internally to discover where all of this comes from then we can truly start our journey to transformation. We must own our own emotions for us to transform.

To see more clearly reach out for help, that is your first step.  Contact us today!

In 1890 Pavlov, a Russian physician and , accidentally discovered, through investigating the dog’s gastric function, the response that he called Classical Conditioning.  Classical Conditioning can be defined as, “conditioning in which the conditioned stimulus (as the sound of a bell) is paired with and precedes the unconditioned stimulus (as the sight of food) until the conditioned stimulus alone is sufficient to illicit the response (as salivation in a dog)… “[1] In plain words classical conditioning is when something happens often enough the subject begins to elicit a response be it physiological, emotional and/or intellectual.  So if something happens to us or doesn’t happen to us often enough we develop an automatic response or should I say reaction.  We all too often react instead of respond and that is because we have been conditioned to do so.

So when someone shuts down and gets quiet as an individual or when someone starts flipping out (screaming, yelling, profanity, etc.) these are conditioned responses, they are reactions!  We are all conditioned whether or not we like the thought of it or not.  The good news is that we can alter the conditioning we have received.

To alter our conditioning is to alter body function as well.  As in my last article I discussed in some length how the spirit, mind, and body affect the body.  A simple test can be done with a conscious thought.  The next time you are lifting a weight think of a sad face and notice the strength that you have, then in turn think of a happy face and do the same thing and again notice the strength you have.  I think you will be surprised to see how thinking of a happy face can give you more physical strength.  I often use this kinesiological method to demonstrate this point more affectively.  The point being is that the conscious mind can and does affect the body’s strength, how about the unconscious mind’s ability to affect the body?  The unconscious mind’s ability is so powerful it can cause a person to faint at the sight of blood, to jump when startled, to determine the quality of sleep, the depth of breathing, raise and lower blood pressure, influence digestive processes, and much more.  If the unconscious mind is able to do this on a relatively short timeline what about days, weeks, months, years, or decades later?  Can chronic illnesses have a root cause of unresolved unconscious issues?  The answer is yes.  Both acute and chronic illnesses manifest in the body due to unresolved emotional issues often deeply buried in the unconscious mind.  I realize that pathogens can be the culprit but why do some contract the illness while others do not?  The answer lies in the deep-seated beliefs of the unconscious mind and body.

It is a sensitive matter to discuss the possibility that illness has a direct link to the way we have been conditioned to live our lives.  When discussing this connection between spirit, mind to the body either our society dismisses this as foolishness or becomes upset as though they are being blamed.  Dr. Gabor Mate, M.D.’s book, “When the Body Says No”, speaks of a fifty two year old university professor that vocalized her anger at him for writing about how the mind affects the body, she told him, “Why are you writing this book?… I got cancer because of my genes, not because of anything I did.”[2] I feel sad for those that are suffering physically and mentally, but what causes me even more sadness is when the message is misunderstood and the hope for positive change is lost.  It is unfortunate that people can misinterpret this message as being a form of blaming the victim as though their illness or death is a personal failure.  Blame and failure isn’t the issue rather the focus is on finding the cause and affect and working towards restoration of health and wellbeing.  All too often there is confusion between blame and responsibility.  Dr. Mate said, “While all of us dread being blamed, we all would wish to be more responsible – that is, to have the ability to respond with awareness to the circumstances of our lives rather than just reacting.”[3]

The first step is to become aware of the truth that the spirit, mind and body are all intricately connected and what happens in the spirit/mind affects our body. Plato quoting Socrates said, “This is the reason why the cure of so many dieseases [sic] is unknown to the physicians of Hellas; they are ignorant of the whole. For this is the great error of our day in the treatment of the human body, that physicians separate the mind from the body.”[4] Without awareness we cannot take on true responsibility facilitating the change we are truly needing.  This connection needs so desperately to be understood and embraced otherwise so many more will needlessly suffer and die.  Becoming responsible is becoming aware, having the courage to take steps towards professional help, owning your own emotional reactions, and having them processed through to the point of healing.  This process involves the healing of spirit, mind, and the body and leaving out any one of these is not wise.

If we understand that the universal order is always spirit first physical third then we can begin to embrace this ancient understanding of why our bodies are the way they are.  Here’s a biblical quote that is worth considering, “…the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible…”[5] Freedom comes when we gain understanding with hope of a better tomorrow!

[1] Classical Conditioning, http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/classical conditioning

[2] Gabor, Mate, M.D., When the Body Says No: the cost of hidden stress (Toronto: Vintage Canada, a division of Random House, 2003), 8.

[3] IBID, 8,9.

[4] Secrets Of Freedom From Headache, “Not tonight honey, I have a headache” http://www.singhneurology.com/headache-center.php

[5] Hebrews 11:3a, New King James Version, (Nashville, TN., Thomas Nelson, Inc., 1982).