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Marriage and couples counselling
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How couples work with me happens in two stages.
First, we begin with marriage counselling. This means understanding what’s happening between you and learning better ways to talk and work through conflict.
Second, where it’s needed, each of you does individualized therapy work, such as EMDR or DBR.
I work this way because the thinking brain and the emotional brain work differently. Counselling mainly helps the thinking brain. But when emotional triggers come up, they can override what you’ve learned, and you find yourself reacting instead of responding. That’s when the new skills don’t seem to work. Individualized therapy works on what’s happening in the emotional brain, so your triggers and reactions can be lessened or resolved. The goal is a healthier marriage and, hopefully, one that’s saved.
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Online counselling across Ontario
Marriage &
couples counselling.
Space to listen, understand each other, and find a way forward.
I’m James Miklos, Registered Psychotherapist. I offer online marriage and couples counselling across Ontario. We begin with your concerns and discuss my two-tier approach.
Relationships and connection
Virtual couples counselling in Ontario.
We make space to talk about your relationship, understand how you respond to each other, and consider the choices ahead.
Topics couples may bring
- Communication and recurring conflict
- Trust and concerns following an affair
- Intimacy and sexual concerns
- Parenting and blended-family relationships
- Separation, divorce and changing expectations
We hear each person’s concerns and decide whether sessions together are suitable. Abuse, pressure to do things against your wishes, or other safety concerns need careful attention before we decide how to proceed.
Virtual sessions
Support from your own private setting.
For online sessions, you need a private space, a suitable device and a reliable connection.
Before we begin, we discuss whether online counselling suits you, what you are agreeing to, privacy and its limits, and what to do if the connection drops.
The Two-Tier Counselling Approach
Working with the relationship and the individual.
Why I work with both the relationship and the individual.
In my experience, talking through disagreements and learning communication skills may not be enough for lasting change. Past hurts, emotional difficulties and trauma can shape how you react to your partner, even when you both want things to improve.
My two-tier approach works on both the relationship and each person’s emotional difficulties. We look at what keeps the same problems coming back, not just the disagreements you can see.
The aim is to understand what lies beneath the conflict and change how you feel, respond and connect.
Tier 1
Understanding the relationship.
Together, we use counselling, coaching, learning and role-play: practising how a conversation might go. We explore repeated problems, practise communication, hear each person’s view and agree on goals.
Tier 2 · When appropriate
Individual psychotherapy for personal healing.
When suitable, individual psychotherapy can support the relationship work. EMDR and Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) may help each person work on painful experiences and emotional responses that affect the relationship.
Making room for a more thoughtful response.
Painful feelings can lead you to fight, pull away or shut down. Individual work aims to help you understand and manage these reactions, with more room to pause, listen and choose your response.
Change takes willingness and effort.
Both partners have a part to play: looking honestly at themselves, taking responsibility for their reactions and practising new ways of relating. My hope is that you each grow and bring those changes into a happier, more satisfying marriage.
This approach comes from my clinical experience and feedback in my practice. Every person and relationship is different; outcomes cannot be guaranteed.
Before any individual sessions, we discuss their purpose, your consent and how confidentiality will work.