Communication Skills
Communication is vital in any relationship, especially when it comes to communication in marriage. Communication is first a learned behaviour from our family of origin and secondly it is learned through personal development of communication skills.
Communication involves both verbal and non-verbal.
If you are having difficulty in marriage due to a break down of communication then you may want to consider some of the information included in this page and how we can help you to move forward.
Verbal Communication
Verbal communication is a significant vehicle of communication and includes various aspects to it.
In its most important but fundamental form is human language. The use of human language involves sounds and gestures for symbols which is used to communicate with those around them.
Language has properties which are governed by rules. There are phonological rules, syntactic, semantic, and dramatic rules. The meanings of words can be literal or connotative.
Content & Relational Messages
Content messages are about the topic at hand where relational messages are about the relationship itself.
Non-verbal Communication
In non-verbal communication there a number of important aspects.
Haptic communication
Also can be known as the communication of physical touch. There is healthy touch and unhealthy touch. We learn to understand touch mainly through childhood experiences. Through touch we learn pleasure, pain, heat and cold. Touch is significant when it comes to conveying love and to enhance physical intimacy. Touch can be seen as positive, playful, erotic, kissing, platonic such as a handshake or a hug.
Chronemics
This is a indirect non-verbal communication that involves ones use of time. We communicate through our use of time because it communicates perceptions and values. We can see it in punctuality or the lack of it, the willingness to wait or the impatience of leaving. The use of time effects agendas, lifestyle, speed of speech, a persons movements, and how long a person is willing to listen. A person’s use of time is significant when it comes to relationships. A poor use of time can communicate a lack of affection, importance, or care.
Body Language
In this non-verbal form of communication, body language can be considered a significant part of communication. Body language can involve behaviour such as posture, facial expressions, gestures, movement of eyes, eye contact, space and distance, and touch.
Dress
How one dresses sends a message to another person. For example when a minister wears clerical garments, a prostitute wearing seductive wear, a business man wearing a suit, a wife wearing lingerie, a man unkempt, a woman looking frumpy. All of these expressions of dress and hygiene communicate messages to people that either attracts or repels, pleases or repulses.
Intent of a message
Intent of a message can involve involuntary actions such as sweating, or voluntary actions such as winking, smiling, or frowning.
Nonverbal Speech
This involves prosody, pitch, intonation, tempo, rhythm, and stress. These nonverbal cues in speech communicate significant amounts of information. This is also known as paralinguistics which are properties of speech that play a significant role in communication.
Both verbal and non-verbal communication play a part in how people understand each other. This leads to the ability to understand a content message and a relational message.
Hinderances to Communication:
- Perception of communication problems
- Attachment Theory
- Emotional Triggers
- Emotional Intelligence
- Choice of Words
- Nonverbal Communications
- Ethics and Morality in Personal Relationships
- Deception
- Attitudes
- Cultural Barriers
When communication breaks down it creates misunderstanding, confusion, and hurt feelings. Effective communication is not only possible but probable as we can learn or relearn the communication process. The majority of couples that come in for marriage and couples counselling state that their issues lie in poor communication skills.
We can help teach you how to communicate effectively and clearly where you can skillfully and tactfully convey your thoughts so that you feel heard and understood.
